Causes

Last week my sociology professor asked us if we have a cause. She talked about the protests during the sixties, and how they may have been a little extreme, but at least they had a cause they were willing to protest for. She then again asked if we even have a cause in our time. This has been hanging over my head since then.
Today in the shower (where all my best inspiration hits me;)) I realized I do have a cause. And not only a cause, but many. I think we all have causes we feel at least semi passionate about, but we don't do anything about them. I realized the way we fight for our causes today may be different.
I have many causes that I am very passionate about. Things that can get me really heated (they will be reserved for another post). As I have had beliefs about certain things, things that I wished would change. Things that I wished someone would do something about. And then if someone did decide to do something about it, I would certainly give my support and join along. But it was always just that. Someone do something about all these problems. But not me.
This summer my my feelings changed. One night as some of my family was discussing certain problems with our nation my nephew became frustrated with the fact that we always discuss the problems, but never actually do anything about it. It made me realize I can. I can be that person who does fight for my causes. I don't have to wait for the "Martin Luther King Jr." to come along and I'll support him. I can be the "Martin Luther King Jr." Why not me? What is so different from our pioneers of change to me? Nothing! Only my belief in who I am. I, as much as anyone else, have the right and the capability to fight for the causes I believe to be true. I can start the fight for the change I want. I will start these protests. I believe every man/woman who wished to could change the world in even just that one way they are passionate about. He who has the desire is called. If you want to, you can. We live in a time of great controversy. A time when morals are sliding. Selfishness is abundant. And many things need rearranging. We cannot sit idly by hoping someone else will start the fight we would like to support. We have to start it. We can. It is only our belief in ourself. Our belief in our capability that will stop us or start us. Why are you any different than George Washington, Thomas Edison, Rosa Parks? They were just regular people. Regular people who were willing to fight for what they believed in. There is no person who was "that person" from the time they were born. Each of us is "that person". Each of us has the same possibilities, the same capabilities. It is only whether we believe it.
As I said, the way I fight today will be different than the way those who protested before. This is why I am going to school. Someone who is educated has much more sway than those who do not. We more easily believe in something a person says when they have a Dr. before their name. If I want to push and fight for my causes, I have to push and fight using my education.
Find your own way to push and fight for your cause, because you can. And then do it.

Going back to school

I pray I can balance my new life. It is so challenging trying to juggle being a good mom, going to class, doing loads of homework, spending time with my husband, and attempting to take care of my home. I have felt prompted over the last year and a half to start going back to school full time. I originally planned on going back after all my children were in school, but I am trying to follow the feelings that are guiding me. It is exciting to go back to school and to be learning. I love that aspect. I love the time while I am at school being a person. As a mom many times I feel like I lose my identity as a person seperate from a mother. I get to be just "Jill" during those couple hours. But it is so hard having to sacrifice time away from my children. And not just time at school, but time on homework, too. It feels like I have a full time job. Just this morning Belle said to me, "Mom, you should ask your teacher if you can stay home from school so you can spend time with your me."
Talk about rip your heart out! I explained to her why I was doing what I am doing, and why it is important to me and our family. I hope she understands! Later on today she saw me studying out of my psychology book. There were pictures of the different parts of the brain and their functionings. She asked me what each part does. It was fun to be able to explain it to her. As a bonus it helped me to retain more of what I was learning, too. So there are definitely positives coming out of it, too. I am just trying to trust that if Heavenly Father has asked me to do this that I will be able to find a way to balance it all that will bless our whole family.
I am learning to nurse while I read, and bounce back and forth from typing papers to listening to an excited four year old's stories. I try to split my brain. How challenging! But I believe this is a challenge I can accomplish. But not on my own. Only through the help and guidance of my loving Father can it all be possible. He loves my children, too. Even more than I do. He wants what is the very best for us. He wants us to have joy.  I feel grateful for all the beautiful things I have been blessed with. When Belle and I were talking about people who didn't have a lot, who were poor, and had no homes or food. Then I proceeded to tell her how rich we are because we have a home over our heads and enough food to eat, and most importantly we have each other. In that moment I realized how rich we really are. We live in a society where riches are measured by the amount of "toys" or things we have, the size of our home, the type of vehicle we drive, or the way we dress. But in so many other countries they would feel like Kings and Queens to have what we do. I don't have to worry about my children starving or freezing. I can go to school. I have so many opportunities to become what I wish and to help my children have the same. And for that I feel richly blessed.

My riches

Little Little

I didn't really want it to happen, but here it is happening, and I'm excited all the same. I want the girls to freeze in time. Stop growing up! I remember when Belle was a baby I was so excited for each new phase, encouraging it on. Now here she is, four years old. How did this happen? Now with Evee I realize how fast it all goes and I say, "Slow down, sista!" But she is growing and going through all the phases anyway. She is getting so big. At her last Dr. appt. she was smack dab in the middle for weight and head measurements, and she in the 75% for height. It's so nice having a baby with a little chunk on her. Belle was sooo skinny she hovered in the one digit percentiles for weight. I always worried she would get sick and have no reserves. Now she's still a bean pole, but luckily rarely gets sick. Anyway, Evee can roll from front to back and back to front. But her newest mode of transportation is scooting backwards. It happened out of nowhere! She all the sudden pushed up off her belly when she had never done that before and then moved backward. The next day in the mother's lounge at church I was telling some other mothers that she had done this, and there she went again right then. Two more scoots. Now she does it frequently. She loves to play with toys. She chats at us sometimes in gargle and sometimes in spits, but it's all very cute either way. When she smiles her whole face lights up. She is such a little sweetheart. She loves to snuggle. She gets mad and frustrated when she is trying to sleep if she can't turn her head enough into a blanket of some sorts. She loves to talk to Belle in the back seat of the car. Belle loves Evee and is so good with her. She is so distraught when Evee cries and tries to make her smile and entertain her so she will stop. Their relationship is very sweet. She always tells me, "Mom, you need to come get Evee," if she can tell she needs some attention. Evee is full of love and brings so much joy to our family. I love that little little!

Some funnies on Belle (because it can't really be a blog post without that, right?):

 On Sunday we went to some friends' house to watch the superbowl. Well, Belle watched our friend, Jeanna, get a little bath ready for her baby. She told Jeanna she needed to take a bath, too, because "I have scrungalies on my bum. But they're not stinky." I laughed so hard I about cried.

Then after the bath was done Belle was in the room while Jeanna was getting her little boy's diaper on. Belle told Jeanna that he has a little penis. Wow! Such an honest little girl! Another friend said, "I hope she is not that honest with her husband!"

Just today Will brought over a girl he was training at his work for lunch and Belle was chatting it up with her. She told her all about her new tights and how you can't see her underwear through them, and proceeded to roll on the ground to show her. Is there a way we can install a filter in this girl? Oh my, children can embarrass you!

Belle loves to take pictures with her new camera.

I noticed a ton of pictures of her own feet. :)

My Amazing Belle

Belle is incredible to me. For all the tears and hair pulling she puts me through, that girl amazes me. She is going to be someone who moves mountains and changes the world. I just feel it. She is still very set on being an astronaut and working on the moon when she gets older. She frequently tells people she is going to go to school so she can be an astronaut. I think it is awesome she already wants to go to college. With Will and I both being in school it goes to show that children follow our examples. I just wish I could always set a good one for her. So today I decided to take her to the Air and Space Museum in Washington DC so she could explore a little more. I love living close to the Smithsonian Museums because I feel like I can teach her so many things and she can see the visuals and hands on things they have there and be able to understand a little better. We are very lucky. She loved it. She ate it right up. So interested in everything I would explain to her. That girl loves to learn. She is so curious about the world around her. She wonders about EVERYTHING. For example, on the way home we were listening to a song and she asked me what nearly every line in the song meant. Not the most enjoyable way to listen to music, but I'll tell you what, it sure has made me pay more attention to the kind of music I listen to. If a song even talks about lying, "Mom, that's a bad song." I think she is more of the example to me! Now if only I could get her to not lie. :) Her thought processes amaze me. I am sure I did not think as deeply about things as she does. Today she cracked me up when she said that people who love each other should get married. She told me she was going to marry Steve (her 23 year old cousin) when she grows up. What a funny girl. But the thing she said today that made me the happiest, "Mom, when I grow up I want to be just like you." Every tear and frustration of child rearing is so worth it for moments like that. I love being a mom. Nothing brings me more joy. It is awesome to me to know that my Father in Heaven would trust me with such sweet girls. Girls who are so good for this world they are on. I only hope I can direct them for good, because I know they are destined for greatness.

I was looking through old video clips and thought I would share a cute one of Belle when she was a couple months shy of two. Don't mind my voice. I'm kinda nerdy when I talk to my babies.